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He rode skateboards and carried around napkins in his front pocket, a habit he’d learned from his grandpa.

He joked like friends from my hometown, but there was a newness to his voice that I didn’t know.

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He had grown tired of letting me pretend, I realized.It didn’t feel like love at first, more like companionship at our all-time lows.We were open with each other; he had been warned to stay away from black girls, and I was advised to not date men of color.I wondered how men with such delicate bodies seemed to be the only ones who could endure the storm. We bought crop tops, tight jeans, and earrings so big that they touched our shoulders.When my cousin on the all-black side birthed a baby girl whose father had become abusive, we took a long ride to a shopping mall. On the ride home we were quiet and I decided I would never date a black man as long as my feet touched this earth.

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Our portrait was perfectly hung and constantly dusted for shine.

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