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“If that were true, they would be lowering their standards. In fact, she notes that older women are a lot more selective than older men and younger women are when it comes to picking a partner If anything, it’s more of a level playing field when it comes to midlife dating. In a talk before boomers (you can watch it below), Adshade says older women really aren’t disadvantaged on the dating market.Talk to me when you’ve had 40, then we’ll re-evaluate.” What I realized was that dating—at mid-life, with kids, careers and lessons learned from a failed marriage—was going to be much more complicated than getting to know the cute guy in Art History class. After four years of dating, more than 100 first dates and a few lovely but ultimately unsustainable relationships, combined with my professional experience as a psychologist, I have found that people go about the dating process has everything to do with whether they enjoy it and how successful they are.This starts with preparing yourself to enter the dating world.[image: via shutterstock] Ready for conscious, like-minded individuals you really want to meet? is a psychologist in private practice in the Denver area.Register with Meet Mindful for free today—the fastest growing dating site for conscious singles. She is a long-time practitioner of yoga and meditation.As you go through the process of divorce, there is often a desire to either run from the pain of the failed marriage into the distraction of a relationship or to shut yourself off from it, immersing yourself in work, kids, working out or wounded isolation.First of all, before you even start dating, you need to give yourself time to heal, to get your new life in order and to learn how to be on your own.

There were no rules, no societal expectation or reputations or worry about.

After about 10 uninspiring dates, I turned to my friend, a seasoned online-dater, bemoaning my lack of success.

Her unsympathetic response was “You’ve only had 10 dates?

“We’re perpetually fed a line that we’re looking for love in a market that doesn’t value us,” says Marina Adshade, an economics professor in Canada and author of . However, with the gray divorce boom, there are a lot more older people available than ever before.

That said, the dating market for older singles isn’t all that easy. There just aren’t that many available singles our age and the ones who are available are an interesting lot (read Anne Lamott’s funny take of her year on to understand).

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