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The fear for guys is that by being a virgin past this nebulous date, they will have not only missed their chance to sew their wild oats – because of course, nobody over the age of 35 has no-strings-attached sex but they will be so clearly marked as “damaged goods” that no woman would possibly want them.They live in fear that no woman would want to have to “show them the ropes” and as a result, their lack of experience will leave them completely incapable of living up to the demands and expectations of a more-experienced partner; thus they have effectively aged out of the dating market and are doomed to die alone, unloved and having never been naked with a girl.The problem is that – for the most part – these fears are .It rapidly becomes a case of self-fulfilling prophecy; they believe that there is something shameful and wrong about being a virgin at such an “advanced” age and so it bleeds into other aspects of their lives.but because he’s never managed to actually penetrate a woman, he’s still obsessed with “childish” things.Meanwhile, we live in a culture that glorifies male sexual conquests even as it pathologizes male sexuality.You are no wiser, more mature or otherwise changed from who you were minutes beforehand; the only difference is that you now have a set of memories that you didn’t have before and the need to shower and change the sheets.
In Japan, there are references to a woman as a “Christmas cake” – it may look tasty, but nobody wants it after the 25th.
For some, it’s a quest to lose our virginity the night of The Big School Event (Homecoming, Prom, Spring Formal, what-have-you) because it’s part of the modern high-school mythology that we’ve made up.
For others it’s trying to beat a particular date – our 18th or 21st birthdays, high-school or college graduation, before summer’s over, before getting married.
It won’t magically give you confidence that you didn’t have before, it won’t change how you think or make you empirically more or less attractive.
Anything you gain from sex was, ultimately, within you from the start.